BREAKING: Ellen DeGeneres dies at 62 from complications of cancel culture

HOLLYWOOD—Talkshow host and everyone’s favorite daytime lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres has died at the age of 52 from complications of cancel culture.

The comedienne was discovered to have not been nice to people in the past and so, naturally, she was cancelled.

Ellen DeGeneres’s reputation has been on a downward slide since roughly last fall, when, during a particularly awkward interview, DeGeneres accused Johnson of not inviting her to a birthday party and Johnson replied with the now infamous quote, “Actually, no, that’s not the truth, Ellen.”

That alone was enough to cancel her, but tack on the fact that she literally lynched people on her talkshow set and even worse, was caught spending some friendly time with George W. Bush, she was well past due for a cancelling.

Then, she interviewed Kevin Hart after several of his homophobic tweets and supported Hart, which made the LGBTQ community call Ellen out for not being gay enough for them.

“She should be more gay,” LGBTQ Spokesperson Lafonda Smith said.

But really, everyone knows that Ellen is part of the adrenochrome cabal and is being taken out because it’s all happening.