Most of the comedy world was shaken by the announcement of the passing of comedian Norm MacDonald, who Steven Crowder labeled the “last hero in the War on Comedy.”

We at Genesius Times, however, are happy to announce that the ghost of Norm MacDonald will be joining our staff!

“We’re very excited to have the unique talent of Norm join our staff,” Genesius Times Chief Operations Office Kamala Harringbone said. “Norm was on Saturday Night Live when it was actually funny, then he starred on several late night television shows.”

MacDonald said that he was enthusiastic about the new gig.

“So, I was feeling sick and so I went into the hospital and this guy comes into the room and I said, hey! You’re not supposed to be in here!” The Ghost of Norm MacDonald said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times. “And the guy said ‘Well you’re not supposed to be in here,’ and I said…’Fair enough’

“Well, anyway the guy was in my hospital room and he took out this long thing. It was a long metal thing. It had some lights on the end and it made a weird sound. And I asked the guy, I said, ‘Are you here to help me get out of this bind with that little thingy there?’ and the guy said, ‘Oh no, this can’t help you,’ and then that guy left.

“Then another guy—a different guy came in and I said ‘Hey! You’re not supposed to be in here!’ and the guy said, ”Well you’re not supposed to be in here,’ and I said…’Fair enough’

“Well, anyway the guy was in my hospital room and he took out this tall stack of … paper thing. And he looked through the papers. And I asked the guy, I said, ‘Are you here to help me get out of this bind with that Stack of paper?’ and the guy said, ‘Oh no, this can’t help you,’ and then that guy left.

“Then my doctor came in and I said ‘Hey! I guess you’re supposed to be in here,’ and the guy said, ‘I have some good news for you!’ and I said ‘Oh yeah? Are you going to make me feel better with your good news?’ and the guy said ‘Well, no, you’re dying from cancer,’ and I said, ‘Oh no, that’s bad!’ and the guy said, ‘Yeah, but I got you into this amazing cemetery down the street. It’s just fabulous—everyone’s dying to get in!”

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