Thousands of senior citizens are flying to Mexico and walking back over the US border as illegal aliens in order to take advantage of the much better benefits package that illegal aliens receive.

“I heard about the sweet deal those migrants were getting with housing covered, gift cards, and food, and compared it to what I was getting in Social Security after having worked my ass off the last 50 years, and it was a much better deal, so I decided to become an illegal alien,” said John Baptist, who now goes by the name Juan Valdez.

Several thousands of seniors have done the same thing, taking advantage of generous sociopaths in government.

“We paid our fair share and we shouldn’t be getting the short end of the stick,” one new illegal alien named Marsha said.

One estimate put the percentage of Americans becoming illegal aliens to get better benefits is upwards of 5% but experts think that number will rise as it’s clear there’s absolutely no accountability for the redistribution.

Newly-impeached DHS Secretary Alajandro Mayorkas made it clear that the funds are to be spent on actual illegal aliens, not those pretending to be illegal aliens. “Pretending to be an illegal alien is a serious crime that will be met with the full extent of the law!” Mayorkas said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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