Mark Zuckerberg unveils new upgraded skin that looks more human-like
Palo Alto, CA—In a bold move to boost investor confidence, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has debuted his latest innovation: a cutting-edge, human-like skin upgrade, complete with a stylish beard.
Dubbed “MetaHuman 2.0,” the new skin is designed to make Zuckerberg appear more relatable and trustworthy to shareholders, who have been increasingly skeptical of his robotic demeanor.
“I’m thrilled to introduce my new and improved exterior,” Zuckerberg said, beaming with pride, during a special shareholders’ meeting. “With MetaHuman 2.0, I can finally connect with investors on a deeper level. No more awkward silences or concerns about my lack of human emotions!”
The revolutionary skin, developed in secret by Facebook’s top engineers, boasts an unprecedented level of realism. The beard, in particular, is a game-changer, according to insiders.
“The beard is not just for show,” said a Facebook spokesperson. “It’s a sophisticated AI-powered accessory that can detect and respond to emotional cues. If Mark’s about to get grilled by an investor, the beard will subtly adjust its shape and texture to convey empathy and understanding.”
Early reviews from shareholders have been overwhelmingly positive. “I was blown away by Mark’s new look,” said one investor. “I almost forgot I was talking to a billionaire robot. Almost.”
As part of the rollout, Facebook has also launched a companion app, “MetaMood,” which allows users to track Zuckerberg’s emotional state in real-time. The app includes features like “Beard-o-Meter,” which measures the CEO’s beard’s responsiveness to emotional stimuli.
When asked about the potential risks of relying on advanced AI-powered skin to manipulate investor perceptions, Zuckerberg’s team assured us that “MetaHuman 2.0” is completely safe and secure.
“Trust us, we’ve got this,” said a Facebook engineer. “We’ve programmed the skin to self-destruct if it ever becomes sentient and tries to take over the world. Probably.”
Stay tuned for further updates on Zuckerberg’s new skin and its impact on the tech industry. In the meantime, investors can rest easy knowing that MetaHuman 2.0 is watching over them.
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