WASHINGTON, D.C. -The Democratic Party has issued an official demand to President Donald Trump, urging him to halt the deportation of what they’ve described as “our most loyal voters.”

At a hastily convened press conference, Democratic leaders, with expressions as serious as if they were discussing tax reform or healthcare, made the case for why these particular individuals should remain in the country. “These are not just immigrants; they are our voters, our supporters, our… well, unfortunately, some of them are rapists and drug dealers,” said Chuck Schumer, who quickly tried to backtrack but not before the damage was done.

The statement has left political analysts scratching their heads and the public in a state of bewilderment. “We’ve always known political parties pander for votes, but this is a new level,” remarked one observer, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being “deported” from the conversation.

The Democrats’ argument, if one could call it that, seems to hinge on the premise that these individuals contribute significantly to their voter turnout. “Every vote counts, even if it’s from someone who might have a warrant out for their arrest,” was the thinly veiled justification provided by another party spokesperson.

In response, President Trump, never one to miss an opportunity for irony, has proposed a new initiative titled “Voters for Justice,” where he humorously suggests that instead of deporting these individuals, they should be given a platform to share their stories. “We could hold a national tour called ‘The Rapist and Drug Dealer Voter Experience’,” he tweeted, with a wink to his base.

Political satirists are having a field day, with one comedian joking, “Next thing you know, we’ll have an ‘Illegals for Democrats’ PAC, where contributions are accepted in the form of confiscated drugs or plea deals.”

The public reaction has been mixed. Some are appalled at the candid acknowledgment of who might be voting, while others are merely amused by the absurdity of the situation. “I didn’t think I’d see the day where a political party campaigns on keeping criminals here for votes,” said one local voter, who seemed more entertained than outraged.

Meanwhile, the Democratic Party has been in damage control mode, issuing a follow-up statement that attempted to clarify, “We support all immigrants, not just those with criminal records. We meant to say that everyone deserves a chance to vote… legally, of course.” However, the initial gaffe has already taken root in the public consciousness, providing fodder for memes, late-night talk shows, and political debates for months to come.

As for the policy itself, it seems unlikely to change, but one thing is clear: the political discourse in America has once again reached new heights of absurdity, proving that truth is indeed stranger than fiction in the realm of politics.

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