BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down
President Donald Trump has announced the conversion of all U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) offices into Spirit Halloween stores, following the agency’s recent shutdown.
The decision comes on the heels of the administration’s efforts to dismantle USAID, with Secretary of State Marco Rubio assuming interim leadership and Elon Musk, head of the Department of Government Efficiency, declaring the agency “beyond repair”.
“USAID was a ghost town anyway,” quipped President Trump during a press conference. “So, we thought, why not make it official? Now, instead of handing out aid, we’ll be handing out costumes. It’s a win-win.”
Spirit Halloween, known for its seasonal pop-up stores in vacant retail spaces, has embraced the opportunity. “We’ve always been about bringing life to empty spaces,” said a company spokesperson. “Transforming former USAID offices into Halloween stores is just another way we can do that.”
Critics argue that repurposing facilities dedicated to humanitarian aid into seasonal retail outlets is in poor taste. “This is a macabre twist on foreign policy,” said one former USAID employee. “It’s as if our commitment to global development has been reduced to a costume party.”
Supporters, however, see it differently. “This move embodies the entrepreneurial spirit,” said an administration official. “We’re turning inefficiency into opportunity, and who doesn’t love Halloween?”
As the transformation begins, former USAID offices are being stocked with an array of costumes, from “Disgruntled Diplomat” to “Bureaucratic Zombie.” The irony is not lost on former staffers, some of whom have reportedly applied for seasonal positions at the new stores.
International reactions have been mixed. Some foreign leaders expressed dismay at the abrupt shift in U.S. foreign aid policy, while others have inquired about bulk orders of costumes for upcoming state events.
Only time will tell if this unconventional approach will be a trick or a treat for America’s global standing.
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