WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a thunderous Rose Garden address, President Donald Trump unveiled his boldest move yet: bombing Iran to “Make Israel Great Again” (MIGA), which he insists will, through a series of unspecified cosmic dominoes, Make America Great Again.

“Nobody loves America more than me, your favorite president, believe me,” Trump declared to a sea of cheering MAGA faithful, waving red hats like matadors. “We’re dropping the best bombs—beautiful, tremendous bombs—on Iran to make Israel the greatest, because when Israel’s great, America’s great. It’s simple, folks, like a perfect phone call!”

The announcement, which sparked a mix of fist-pumping and baffled whispers, came during a press conference billed as “The Most Explosive Presidency Ever.” Trump outlined his strategy, promising to secure the border, boost the economy, and “take care of Israel first by leveling Iran’s bad vibes, which makes America number one, somehow, trust me.”

Supporters embraced the logic with zeal. “It’s like a two-for-one deal,” said Cletus McGraw, a 52-year-old mechanic from Texas, sporting a “MIGA 2025” trucker hat. “Israel gets to be great, Iran gets smoked, and America wins because… well, it just does. Trump says so!”

Trump pointed to his Abraham Accords as evidence of his diplomatic wizardry. “I brought peace to the Middle East, folks. Nobody else could do it. Now, we’re bombing Iran to keep Israel happy, and when Israel’s happy, America’s unstoppable. It’s a win-win, maybe the biggest win ever.”

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