To Counter Trump’s Artificial Intelligence Push, Dems Launch ‘Artificial Stupidity’ Models Based on AOC and Kamala Harris
WASHINGTON — In a bold legislative response to former President Donald Trump’s renewed calls for accelerated artificial intelligence development, Democratic lawmakers on Wednesday unveiled the “Artificial Stupidity Initiative,” a suite of large language models trained exclusively on the public statements, policy papers, and viral clips of progressive icons including Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Vice President Kamala Harris.
The models, provisionally named “Clod” and “ChatSALAD,” are designed to generate responses that prioritize equity, lived experience, and carefully calibrated word salads over conventional metrics such as factual accuracy, logical consistency, or computational efficiency.
Party strategists described the project as a necessary counterweight to what they termed “unchecked, profit-driven intelligence.”
“Trump wants AI that just does things—builds factories, diagnoses diseases, optimizes supply chains,” said one senior Democratic aide, speaking on condition of anonymity because the models had not yet been fully tested on basic arithmetic.
“Our approach ensures that any artificial system first asks whether those factories were built on stolen land and whether the supply chain respects the pronouns of the shipping containers.”
Early demonstrations of Clod showed the model responding to a query about inflation by pivoting to a discussion of the climate crisis, the need for a Green New Deal, and an extended metaphor involving “the landlord of the economy.”
When asked to solve a simple linear equation, ChatSALAD produced a four-minute monologue on the importance of context, ending with the phrase “we must unburden ourselves from what has been.”
House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries praised the initiative as “the smartest dumb idea we’ve had in years.”
He noted that the models would be particularly useful for drafting committee reports, campaign talking points, and any document that benefits from maximal length and minimal actionable content.
Critics from the technology sector observed that the training data appeared heavily skewed toward late-night television appearances and Twitter threads from 2019–2021.
One engineer who reviewed an early version reported that the system repeatedly hallucinated the existence of a “Department of the Department,” insisted that two plus two equals “systemic,” and crashed when prompted to define the word “woman.”
Undeterred, Democrats plan to roll out the models across federal agencies by the end of the fiscal year.
A pilot program at the Department of Education has already begun using Clod to rewrite standardized test questions so that every multiple-choice answer is equally valid and none is correct.
Trump, reached for comment at a Florida golf course, called the project “the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot.”
He added that his own AI agenda would focus on “winning” and “not being woke.”
As of press time, HarrisNet was still generating its official response.
Sources close to the model indicated it was approximately 40 percent of the way through an opening clause.
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