Introducing Taliban Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!

Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there: the Taliban Barbie, which comes complete with a hijab, a Quran, and a forced marriage license!

“We are always quick to jump on the trends and we see all of the world headed toward Sharia law, so we needed to get the Taliban Barbie to market as soon as possible,” Mattel CEO Dick Firkin said.

Mattel is coming off a recent success with the Corona Karen Barbie, that yelled at you for not making her feel safe enough.

The Taliban Barbie is only 14-years-old, but she looks at least 19 and comes with an amazing skin that bruises when you punch it. Kids everywhere will be able to experience what it’s like to live under Sharia law.

Taliban Barbie also comes with a detachable head for, you know, for when your doll speaks incorrectly.

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has endorsed the new doll, calling it a bold step in the right direction for women.

“Young girls need role models for how to behave in the New World Order,” Psaki said. “If you don’t submit, you will be beaten.”

close

"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.