Hillary Clinton brought the sold-out crowd to their feet as she entered the dingy underground storage room of the Sacramento Barnes and Nobel Sunday evening. The former Secretary of State was barely visible through the cloud of moldy air.

“Everybody says be yourself, and you want to be yourself, but you also want to blame stuff on others,” said the former Democratic presidential nominee.

Clinton was in town to discuss her new book, “Everyone I Don’t Like is a Russian Agent,” which she co-wrote with Vladimir Putin.

Clinton recently made news by claiming that Green Party nominee Jill Stein and Democratic nominee Tulsi Gabbard are Russian agents.

“If the beef stroganoff fits!” Clinton said with a chuckle, referring to Gabbard.

Many came to the book signing to hear about the Clinton-Gabbard feud.

“It doesn’t matter that we’re $22 trillion in debt or that government policies are crippling the economy, we want a WWF fight between two prominent candidates!” Benny Suds from Scarsdale said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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