US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the day after Thanksgiving as “Black Friday“.

She has demanded that they start referring to the make-shift holiday next year as “Friday of Color”.

The proposal, touted as a groundbreaking initiative for shopping equality, aims to rectify what AOC perceives as an oversight in the nomenclature of one of the busiest shopping days of the year.

In a press conference that unfolded like a Black Friday midnight madness sale, AOC passionately declared, “We need to recognize the diversity of our shopping experiences and move away from the exclusionary term ‘Black Friday.’ By renaming it ‘Friday of Color,’ we are embracing the vibrant spectrum of shopping desires that exist in our wonderfully diverse society.”

The demand came after President* Joe Biden said that they should let African Americans shop on days other than Black Friday.

Critics argue that the proposal might be missing the mark and that the term “Black Friday” has no racial connotations, referring instead to the practice of retailers moving into profitability, or “in the black,” after operating at a loss for most of the year.

Nevertheless, AOC is undeterred, envisioning a world where consumers of all backgrounds can come together on the “Friday of Color” to share in the universal joy of hunting for discounts.

“You’re either moving forward on things like these or you’re a Nazi,” Ocasio-Cortez added.

As the nation processes this colorful proposition, retailers are left wondering how to adapt their marketing strategies to the new moniker. Some suggest rainbow-themed doorbuster sales, while others propose renaming Cyber Monday to “Binary Blursday” for an even more inclusive online shopping experience.

A spokesperson for Macy’s was not available for comment.

^{_{Originally published November 29, 2019}}

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