Freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is launching a new campaign to save the buffalo from having their wings harvested for buffalo wings.

“It is heartless and cruel and likely contributes to climate change,” Ocasio-Cortez said in an interview at the Southern Buffalo Farm outside of Boise, Idaho. “You can do without your Hooters wings to save these poor animals.”

AOC and a crew of white-clad protesters swarmed the farm and took photos of the congresswoman crying and yelling at the buffalo.

“These people are perpetrating a crime against humanity against these buffalo,” Ocasio-Cortez said. “It’s 2020. Haven’t you heard of the Impossible Burger? Why can’t you make your buffalo wings out of plants instead of taking these helpless animal’s wings?”

The owner of the farm, Will Franklindon, said that he, “doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. Buffalo don’t have wings.”

It’s likely that the buffalo wing prohibition will be added to the next iteration of the Green New Deal.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts