Democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders unveiled his latest plan to save Americans billions of dollars through his Medicare for All scheme. The plan would replace most pharmaceuticals that people take, which cost nearly $1 trillion, with magical unicorn poop, that doesn’t cost anything.
“What our system does is get rid of all those greedy pharmaceutical companies who charge an arm and a leg for their life-saving drugs,” Sanders said at a campaign stop. “We kick those companies to the curb and replace the pharmaceuticals with magical unicorn poop,” he added waving some of the rainbow colored feces in the air.
Many Bernie fans were ecstatic after the announcement.
“I don’t take pharmaceuticals as a rule,” Roger Stoner of Portland, Oregon said. “But I would totally try some of that dank unicorn poop, man!”
Skeptics questioned whether his plan would actually save the estimated $450 billion.
“It’s just not clear that exchanging pharmaceuticals with unicorn dung—if it even works—would save that much money. Maybe a couple million tops,” fellow candidate Amy Klobuchar said.
“This will work, you just need to trust us,” Sanders said of the plan.