The dreaded coronavirus, which is warranting strict social distancing measures across the country, is employing its own social distancing measures to hide from Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden.

“Forget six feet,” the deadly virus said, “I don’t want to touch him with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole!”

While a recent poll showed that 97 percent of respondents are afraid of catching coronavirus, the coronavirus is in fact afraid of catching Joe Biden.

“Have you seen that perv leech onto little girls the way he does? Right in public! It’s really scary. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemies,” coronavirus added.

Biden, whose official campaign slogan is “Hidin’ from Biden” has stopped making campaign stops during the outbreak, but people have encouraged him to continue.

“If I know the corona isn’t going to be there because it’s hiding from Biden, then I’ll go to one of his rallies!” Beatrice Liffhaufin of Grand Rapids, Michigan said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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