In a shocking turn of events that sent ripples through the half a dozen dedicated WNBA fans, star player Angel Reese has threatened to sit out if she doesn’t get paid more.

“If y’all don’t give us what we want, we sitting out,” Reese declared, sending a chill down the spines of all six people who tune in regularly. Sports analysts are still determining if this number includes her immediate family.

Die-hard fan Greg, who watches every game at his local Buffalo Wild Wings (when they forget to change the channel), expressed his heartbreak. “This is devastating. I mean, I wasn’t going to buy tickets or anything, but I was totally going to watch the highlights if they popped up in my feed.”

Another longtime WNBA supporter, Karen from Portland, who swears she would watch more if they just “dunked occasionally,” lamented, “This could be the end of women’s basketball as we know it.” She then paused and corrected herself, “Wait, I meant as we barely know it.”

WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert quickly reassured fans that the league would continue, even if players followed through with their sit-out threat. “We will simply play crowd noise on loop and let AI generate fake games. Honestly, attendance might even go up.”

Meanwhile, NBA executives were spotted chuckling in the background as they counted their billions in revenue from the latest TV deal.

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