Angel Reese says basketball rims are racists for making her throw up so many bricks
CHICAGO, IL – In a shocking post-game press conference following a tough loss for the Chicago Sky, WNBA star Angel Reese dropped a bombshell accusation that’s rocking the sports world: basketballs are racist. The former LSU standout, known for her fierce play and unfiltered commentary, pointed the finger at the game’s most essential piece of equipment after a performance that saw her shoot a dismal 4-for-17 from the field.
“I’m out here trying to make shots, and these basketballs are straight-up discriminating against me,” Reese declared, her signature intensity on full display. “Every time I shoot, it’s like the ball’s got an agenda. It’s curving left, curving right, hitting the rim like it’s got a personal vendetta. I’m sick of it!”
Reese, who affectionately refers to herself as the “Chi-Town Barbie,” suggested that the basketballs’ refusal to go through the hoop is part of a deeper conspiracy rooted in systemic bias. “You ever notice how certain players get those nice, clean swishes, but for me, it’s clank, clank, clank? I’m not saying it’s just me, but I’m saying it’s not a coincidence either. These balls are acting like they don’t want me to succeed.”
The accusation sparked immediate reactions across the sports world, with fans and analysts divided. Some took to X to support Reese’s claims, pointing to the suspiciously high number of bricks she’s thrown this season. “Angel’s onto something,” one user posted. “Why do her shots always rim out? Big Basketball needs to answer for this!” Others were less convinced, with one skeptic tweeting, “Maybe the ball’s not racist, maybe she just needs to hit the gym and work on her jumper.”
Reese doubled down, suggesting that the basketballs’ behavior could be tied to their manufacturing. “Look at where these balls are made,” she said, gesturing to a Spalding logo on the game ball. “You think they’re testing these things for cultural bias? Nah. They’re out here mass-producing oppression, and I’m calling it out.”
Teammates and coaches were caught off guard by Reese’s claims but offered cautious support. Sky head coach Teresa Weatherspoon, while avoiding direct comment on the racism angle, praised Reese’s passion. “Angel’s a competitor. She’s going to speak her mind, and we love that fire. If she says the ball’s acting funny, maybe we need to look into it.”
Meanwhile, the basketball community is grappling with the implications. Some players have started inspecting their game balls more closely, with one unnamed point guard reportedly whispering, “You better behave,” to a ball before a free throw. Statisticians are also getting in on the action, analyzing whether Reese’s brick rate—currently hovering at a league-leading 62% on contested shots—shows any statistically significant bias compared to her peers.
Reese, undeterred by the skepticism, is already planning her next move. Sources close to the star say she’s considering launching a line of “equity-focused” basketballs designed to “level the playing field” for players who feel targeted by traditional balls. “I’m about solutions,” she said. “If the game won’t change, I’ll make my own ball that doesn’t hate.”
As the controversy rages on, one thing is clear: Angel Reese has once again sparked a conversation that’s impossible to ignore. Whether it’s systemic racism in basketball manufacturing or just a cold shooting streak, the Chi-Town Barbie is ready to fight—rim or no rim.
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