WASHINGTON, DC—News of the horrifying takeover of Afghanistan by the Taliban who are raping and beheading opposition as they go made its way to Congress today and some people are not happy.
“I can’t believe they’re using gas-powered trucks to rape and pillage the country,” US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) said. “Don’t they understand that the world is going to end in 12 years because of climate change? Use electric vehicles when you’re driving around terrorizing the countryside!”
After a US occupation of 20 years with a cost of over $2 trillion, the Taliban overtook the country in under one month, all while using gas-powered tanks.
“Look, rape and behead all the people all you want,” AOC said, “but if you’re going to do it, at least use an electric vehicle to get there! These militants are so Medieval!”
AOC has been predicting the end of the world from climate change in 12 years for the last 3 years but no one seems to be listening.