BREAKING: Trump Appoints James Talarico as Ambassador to South Faghistan
WASHINGTON — President Trump said Monday that he will appoint Texas state Rep. James Talarico as U.S. ambassador to South...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Millions of Children Become Hardened Capitalists After Hefty “Dad Tax” Imposed on Halloween Candy This Year
Millions of children became hardened as capitalists this weekend after their fathers collected a portion of their Halloween candy under...
Ilhan Omar Comes Out as a Transgender Lesbian to Complete LGBTQ+ Representation with Her Gay Brother-Husband
MINNEAPOLIS — In a carefully worded statement released Thursday, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) announced that she is transgender, a development...
Somali Government to Honor World War Eleven Veteran and Hero George Floyd
Mogadishu — The Somali Ministry of Defense announced Tuesday that it will posthumously award the Order of the Banana Star...
Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
Normal white guy wins “scariest” Halloween costume contest without costume
A normal white guy won the annual Halloween costume contest at the University of Madison Wisconsin's Union over the weekend...
FACT CHECK: No, Ilhan Omar Did Not Dress as a Goat for Her Brother on Their Wedding Night
Claims that Rep. Ilhan Omar dressed as a goat for her brother on their wedding night are not supported by...
Local Dad Yells ‘They Can Take Our Lives but They Can Never Take Our Freedom!’ Before Removing Splinter
A local father shouted a line from Braveheart on Wednesday immediately before removing a splinter from his toe. The splinter...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Overturns Ukraine-Russia Ceasefire, Directs Parties to Resume Hostilities
WASHINGTON, Oct. 27 — U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole issued an order Monday vacating an existing ceasefire between Ukraine and...
Democrats Announce Counter-Reward of $1 Million for Individuals Who Commit Election Fraud
WASHINGTON, Oct. 27 — Democratic Party officials said Tuesday they would offer $1 million to any person who successfully commits...
