BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ
WASHINGTON, DC—Pete Hegseth, clad in full medieval knight regalia, stormed into the Senate Armed Forces Committee hearing with the zeal...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name
LOS ANGELES—In a heartfelt gesture of international solidarity, President* Joe Biden assured the victims of California’s devastating wildfires that while...
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California
In an astonishing revelation that has left the progressive community reeling, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) expressed her horror upon discovering...
Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with prior preparation, California Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled detailed, fully...
BREAKING: LAPD arrest local vigilantes for stopping arsonists setting fires throughout city
LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has made headlines not for catching arsonists, but for arresting the very citizens...
Brave LAFD hosts Pride Parade in charred Pacific Palisades neighborhood
LOS ANGELES—In an unprecedented move amidst the smoldering aftermath of the devastating Palisades Fire, the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD)...
NEW LISTING! LUXURY CHARRED REMAINS ESTATE IN PACIFIC PALISADES – REDUCED PRICE AT $2.6 MILLION! WON’T LAST
Welcome, visionaries and lovers of avant-garde living, to the epitome of post-modern architecture! Nestled in the heart of Pacific Palisades,...
California Gov Newsom bans wildfires from state
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has banned the devastating wildfires wrecking havoc on the state. "We basically saved the planet with...
FEMA unsure which California wildfire victims to help since all political signs have been burnt down
LOS ANGELES—The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has found itself in an unprecedented pickle amidst the catastrophic California wildfires. The...
Arsonists blame climate change for making them set dozens of fires in California
Former president Barack Obama and California Governor Gavin Newsom have used their celebrity to condemn global warming for the devastating...
