Supreme Court Rules Babies Born in the Hospital are Automatically Licensed to Practice Medicine
Washington — In a landmark 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court held Tuesday that any child born within the confines of...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Pope Leo will only meet with SSPX once they’re in formal schism like everyone else he meets
Vatican City — Citing long-standing papal policy, Pope Leo XIV has indicated he will only meet with leaders of the...
BREAKING: Supreme Court Decides 250 Years Is ‘Long Enough’ for America
WASHINGTON—In a narrowly divided 6-3 ruling Thursday, the Supreme Court held that the United States has enjoyed a sufficient run...
BREAKING: Macron Bans Heatwaves from France
PARIS — In a decisive move to combat extreme weather, the French government under President Emmanuel Macron has issued a...
King Charles Appears to Forget Human Contact Lenses During Latest Address
LONDON — In what Palace officials described as a “minor wardrobe oversight,” King Charles III delivered a measured address on...
GT’s Sydney Sweeney Supergirl Crushes Hollywood Version on Opening Weekend
HOLLYWOOD — In what industry analysts are calling a statistically improbable development, the independently produced Supergirl film from Genesius Times,...
Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim
NEW YORK — In a landmark step toward multicultural equity, Mayor Zohran Mamdani personally oversaw the city’s inaugural public stoning...
WNBA Installs New Mid-Court Pro Wrestling Ring to Help Players Pummel Caitlin Clark
The WNBA has unveiled a regulation wrestling ring at center court for all games, designed explicitly to let players “pummel”...
Ewoks have taken over the Obama Presidential Center and have disarmed the shield generator
CHICAGO — A detachment of Ewoks has assumed operational control of the Obama Presidential Center, officials confirmed Tuesday, after the...
Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center
CHICAGO – Local residents and tourists were left both awestruck and mildly concerned Tuesday after two massive Imperial AT-AT walkers...
