QUIZ: What Caused This—Nuclear Explosion or Diversity? (France Edition)
France is on fire again. City halls in flames, streets littered with burned cars, looted shops, and the usual “youths”...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Angry French Students Loot Louis Vuitton in Search of More Teachers and Better Schools, Find Neither
PARIS — A group of French students entered a Louis Vuitton store on the Champs-Élysées yesterday and began removing merchandise,...
Immigrants Issue Heartfelt Thanks to France for Its Inclusivity by Burning It to the Ground
PARIS — In what officials are calling a powerful testament to successful integration, large groups of recent arrivals have begun...
Influencer Demands Men Around Her Stop Looking at Her While She Films Video in Public for Followers
In a groundbreaking act of cognitive dissonance, fitness influencer @GluteGoddess69 has issued a stern public demand: strangers must immediately stop...
Trump Taps Literal Gas Light to Replace White House Press Secretary
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Friday selected a literal gas light to replace Katie Zacharia as White House press...
Liberal Takes Break From Telling Sydney Sweeney to Put More Clothes On to Slam Shane Gillis for Telling Women to Put More Clothes On
In a rare moment of consistency interruption, progressive commentators who have spent recent months urging actress Sydney Sweeney to “put...
Miss United Kingdom Adds ‘Best Burka’ Segment to 2027 Pageant
LONDON — Organisers of the Miss United Kingdom beauty pageant announced Thursday that the competition will introduce a new judged...
DNC Floats Harris-Buttigieg Ticket, Labels Them “Harri/Butt 2028”
WASHINGTON — Democratic National Committee officials are circulating a proposed 2028 presidential ticket pairing former Vice President Kamala Harris with...
Local Leftist Takes Break From Celebrating All Immigrants to Condemn One Particular Immigrant
PORTLAND, Ore. — In a rare departure from her usual advocacy, community organizer Marisol Vargas paused her longstanding campaign of...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
