2026 Oscars replaced with 2 hours of sustained yelling at a picture of Donald Trump
In a move that even the most jaded Academy voters are calling “pure, unadulterated Oceania chic,” the Motion Picture Academy...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Protestant quarterback doesn’t throw the ball because his faith alone is enough to win
In a stunning display of doctrinal consistency that left analysts scratching their helmets, Protestant quarterback Caleb Sola of the Reformation...
GOP Offers ‘Hybrid Filibuster’ for SAVE Act Allowing Democrats to Talk Out of Their Mouths and Their Asses
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of intra-party creativity, Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) has quietly persuaded Senate Majority Leader John...
Gov Newsom Bans Iranian Terrorists from Destroying California: ‘Don’t Worry. I Got This’
SACRAMENTO — In a bold move to protect the Golden State's monopoly on high-stakes political theater, Governor Gavin Newsom signed...
Thune Unveils Bold Alternative to Stalled SAVE America Act: The SAVE FACE WHILE SCREWING AMERICA FOREVER Act
WASHINGTON — With the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) America Act now officially stuck in legislative purgatory for the third...
CNN’s This Day in Teen Tourism on Abnormally Warm Weather History: 2004 Madrid Train Massacre
On a crisp yet unseasonably pleasant early spring morning in Madrid, a group of young visitors from various backgrounds decided...
FACT CHECK: Ben Shapiro’s Eyebrows Grow in Direct Proportion to Number of Bombs Dropped in the Middle East
In a groundbreaking peer-reviewed study, researchers at the Institute for Things That Sound About Right have confirmed what internet commentators...
Local men dominate International Women’s Day celebration
SPRINGFIELD — In a display of what organizers described as “unprecedented solidarity and lived experience,” this year’s International Women’s Day...
Sources say that Iran has elected Barack Obama as the new Supreme Leader
Tehran, Iran — In a stunning development, anonymous sources close to the Assembly of Experts have confirmed that Iran has...
Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files
In a stunning display of bipartisan unity rarely seen outside of pork-barrel spending bills, the United States House of Representatives...
