Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

BREAKING: All-Female Space Crew Aborts Mission After Failing to Parallel Park Shuttle in Orbit

Exavier Saskagoochie April 14, 2025

VAN HORN, TX – In a galactic embarrassment for pop culture and private space travel alike, Katy Perry’s much-hyped Blue...

Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 150% tariff on Mitch McConnell’s wife

Exavier Saskagoochie April 14, 2025

President Donald Trump announced a 150% tariff on Elaine Chao, the wife of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, in what...

BREAKING: Democrats furious that Trump did what they’ve demanded he do

Exavier Saskagoochie April 9, 2025

President Donald Trump announced a surprise pause on all U.S. tariffs this week, effectively halting the trade war with China...

Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 125% tariff on all of Eric Swalwell’s Chinese spy lovers

Exavier Saskagoochie April 9, 2025

Washington, D.C. – The U.S.-China trade war reached a fever pitch this week as President Donald Trump announced a staggering...

Trump Ends U.S.-China Trade War with Bombshell Swap: Hong Kong for Portland, Oregon

Exavier Saskagoochie April 9, 2025

Washington, D.C. – In a move that has left global leaders scratching their heads and cartographers reaching for their erasers,...

Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume

Exavier Saskagoochie April 8, 2025

Evergreen Meadows, Suburbia – In a tragic yet fragrant turn of events, local man Carl Jenkins, 52, was pronounced dead...

Local dad makes sure kids don’t waste pennies leaving lights on so he can waste thousands in crypto

Exavier Saskagoochie April 7, 2025

In the quaint suburban town of Evergreen Meadows, local dad Greg Thompson has elevated frugality to a performance art—provided it’s...

BREAKING: People who want to tax cow farts are upset about Trump’s tariffs

Exavier Saskagoochie April 4, 2025

WASHINGTON, DC—Green New Deal Democrats are reportedly fuming over President Trump’s latest tariff announcements—not because of trade imbalances or economic...