BREAKING: Insurrections are okay now
WASHINGTON, DC—Insurrection is now okay, following the leaking of the Supreme Court decision that is poised to overturn Roe Versus...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
BREAKING: SCOTUS abortion decision leaked by The Ghost of Kiev
WASHINGTON, DC—The identity of the person who leaked the SCOTUS decision, which likely will overturn Roe v Wade has been...
Dozens protest attack on women’s rights despite not being able to define ‘women’
WASHINGTON, DC—Dozens of protesters descended on the nation's capital to protest an attack on women's rights despite not being able...
Hillary wears dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the Met Gala
NEW YORK—Former Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton wore a dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the 2022 Met...
DHS hiring unemployed Antifa activists for new fascist Thought Police brigade
WASHINGTON, DC—Nothing says “anti-fascism” quite like enforcing the disinformation policy of the government. That’s what thousands of newly employed Antifa...
Mayorkas assures us the Disinformation Board will only infringe on free speech for our own good
WASHINGTON, DC—Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas on Sunday claimed that the new Disinformation Governance Board would only infringe on the...
Zelensky promises Pelosi she will get her cut of the money laundering paid in vodka
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has promised that US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi will get her cut of the...
Biden crowns Nina Jankowicz the 2022 ‘Miss Information’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has crowned Nina Jankowicz the 2022 Miss Information, displacing last year's winner, Jen "Ball" Psaki. Jankowicz is...
Violators of Biden’s new disinformation policy will be forced to listen to Nina Jankowicz sing for 66 straight hours
US—When DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas announced the Biden administration's Disinformation Governance Board this week, it was unclear exactly what penalty...
