Elon Musk Sleeping Horribly Due to His Hoarding $1 Trillion in Cash Under His Mattress
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, and several other ventures valued in the hundreds of billions, is...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
“Elon Musk Is a Parasite,” Say Politicians Who Live Entirely on Extorted Taxpayer Money
WASHINGTON — A bipartisan coalition of lawmakers denounced billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk as a “parasite” Tuesday, arguing that his companies’...
AOC Rockets to Top of 2028 Democratic Presidential Polls After Revealing New Nazi Tattoo
WASHINGTON — Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has surged into a commanding lead among likely Democratic primary voters following the public...
Trump Announces 38th Final Iran Peace Deal Coincidentally Timed With Enormous Stock Bet
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that the United States and Iran are on the verge of signing what...
After Belfast Beheading Attempt, Officials Warn Against Backlash Towards Peaceful Beheaders
Belfast – Following a determined but unsuccessful attempt to saw off a man's head with a large knife in broad...
COPS: UK provides masterclass in woke policing
LONDON — In what is being hailed as a “masterclass in modern policing,” two heroic Metropolitan Police officers were caught...
Karen Bass Vows To Save Los Angeles From Incompetent Mayor Karen Bass
LOS ANGELES — Promising to rescue Los Angeles from years of failed leadership, Mayor Karen Bass announced Monday that she...
Nick Saban urges Congress to save college football by returning to paying players under the table
WASHINGTON—In a marathon Senate Judiciary Committee hearing Tuesday, legendary former coach Nick Saban urged lawmakers to save the sport he...
Trump Confirms Reflecting Pool Filled With 100% Ethically-Sourced Liberal Tears
WASHINGTON — Former President Donald Trump confirmed Thursday that the National Mall’s Reflecting Pool is now filled entirely with liberal...
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face
WASHINGTON — Officials confirmed Tuesday that the recently renovated Reflecting Pool on the National Mall now displays an image of...
