Lori Lightfoot reminds Chicagoans that living people can vote too
CHICAGO--Dressed in her favorite Halloween costume, Beetlejuice, Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a special announcement today to remind Chicagoans that living...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden touts abortion as ‘mostly peaceful’
SCRANTON, PA—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden defended abortion and its largest US provider Planned Parenthood as "mostly not murder" in...
Taylor Swift announces another bad decision about men
Taylor Swift, the singer who has made a fortune singing about the bad decisions she's made about men, has announce...
BREAKING: Pence’s excellent debate responses fed by covert drone fly
SALT LAKE CITY--Vice President Mike Pence's excellent debate responses were fed to him by a covert drone fly that was...
Pelosi calls for a national day of mourning after Trump recovers from COVID
US--Liberals across the country are donning black and weeping uncontrollably since President Donald Trump was released from the hospital after...
BREAKING: Trump refuses to denounce white blood cell supremacy during COVID bout
BETHESDA, MD--President Trump has refused to denounce his white blood cell supremacy in the fight against the oppressed COVID-19 cells...
Mike Pence gets millions of atheists to pray to God he becomes president
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Mike Pence's theocratic dictatorship is nearly complete. One of the final pieces to the puzzle was getting...
Hillary Clinton to dress up as president for 4th straight Halloween
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Secretary Hillary Clinton has decided she will dress up as president of the United States for the fourth straight...
Trump eulogizes KKK Cyclops just like Biden to get media to stop calling him racist
WASHINGTON DC—President Donald Trump has given a eulogy for the KKK Cyclops and recruiter Senator Robert C. Byrd just like...
BREAKING: Trump hasn’t denounced white supremacy in last 6.2 seconds
(FOX NEWS) President Donald Trump has not denounced white supremacy in the last 6.2 seconds, which clearly means that he...
