The Dead Voter nominated for Time Person of the Year
The Dead Voter, one of the most important components to the ongoing 2020 presidential election, has been nominated as Time...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
US Bishops release ‘King Biden Version’ Bible with complete ‘Book of Palms’
WASHINGTON DC—Following an apparent gaffe, when the devoutly Catholic Joe Biden accidentally said "the palmist" instead of "the psalmist", the...
Biden warns not to eat too much turkey or the trunalimunumaprzure will make you sleepy
WASHINGTON DC—Self-appointed President-Elect Joe Biden warned of the many dangers of socializing during a Thanksgiving address Wednesday, warning people particularly...
Sidney Powell shocks Thanksgiving guests by serving 700 pounds of fried sea monster
ATLANTA—Attorney Sidney Powell shocked her Thanksgiving guests on Thursday by serving 700 pounds of fried sea monster instead of the...
BREAKING: Trump finally concedes the election in Massachusetts
WASHINGTON DC—Nearly a month after the election, President Donald Trump has finally conceded the state of Massachusetts. "It really doesn't...
BREAKING: Biden officially changes his name to Cho Bei Den
WASHINGTON DC—Feeling that the election is behind him, Joe Biden has sold the naming rights to the president of the...
BREAKING: Warren Commission argues ‘magic ballot’ killed President Trump’s election hopes
WASHINGTON DC—The Warren Commission has published the official explanation of how Joe Biden—a candidate with record low enthusiasm—flipped several swing...
VIDEO: Meet two of the dead voters who helped elect Joe Biden
The 2020 presidential election has been really fun—especially for deceased people. The silent majority buried underground voted more in this...
Oregon Health Authority reminds people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving
PORTLAND — The Oregon Health Authority is reminding people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving celebrations. They are...
Hunter Biden surfaces after hearing someone say ‘I’m going to release the crack!’
WASHINGTON DC—Austere businessman and philanthropist Hunter Biden has finally surfaced in Washington DC after hearing someone say she was going...
