Nation shocked that 2024 Miss America winner is an actual woman
In a plot twist that has left the nation in collective disbelief, this year's Miss America pageant concluded with the...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
FAA to hire more people with ‘severe intellectual’ and ‘psychiatric’ disabilities to match Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has aviation experts questioning whether they accidentally boarded the wrong flight, the Federal Aviation Administration...
BREAKING: Biden cancels MLK Day because ‘he ain’t black’
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden isn't even president yet and he's already shaking things up. Biden unilaterally cancelled the Martin Luther King...
Mark Cuban ends discriminatory hiring at Dallas Mavericks; signs 4’3″ powerhouse Wei Wu as Center
DALLAS—In a groundbreaking move towards diversity and inclusion, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has declared war on discriminatory hiring practices...
BREAKING: Speaker Mike Johnson prepared to complain ‘much more’ on social media if Biden doesn’t do something about the border
In a stunning display of legislative brinkmanship, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has issued a formidable warning to the...
Defense Secretary Austin receives 50 more commendations and ribbons for being out sick last week
In a stunning display of valor and resilience, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has added a staggering 50 new commendations and...
BREAKING: Feds host January 6 ‘reunion party’ with special guest Ray Epps
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI are hosting a January 6 reunion party with special guest Ray Epps to commemorate their insurrection. Today...
Suicide Hotline volunteer shocked when Hillary Clinton tried to ‘place an order’
A volunteer for the New York Metro Suicide Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from former Secretary...
Clinton: ‘I didn’t have sex with any sex slaves on Epstein’s island…the 26 times I flew there on his plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
BREAKING: Epstein client list commits suicide just before being released to the public
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and conveniently timed twist in the ongoing saga surrounding Jeffrey Epstein's notorious client list, the list...
