BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Congress works through weekend to finally pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st
Congress has managed to pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st, thanks to the bipartisan efforts of House...
Biden to hang 6 Easter Bunnies in honor of Trans Visibility Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be personally hanging six Easter...
Biden wishes everyone a ‘Merry Thanksgiving!’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has inadvertently confused the nation by wishing everyone a "Merry Thanksgiving" on Easter Sunday. The gaffe,...
BREAKING: Disney names P. Diddy new CEO citing appeal with children
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a surprising move, Disney has announced that music mogul P. Diddy—who now goes by the pseudonym...
Mike ‘Judas’ Pence wishes everyone a ‘happy Spy Wednesday!’
WASHINGTON D.C. - In an unexpected turn of events, former Vice President Mike Pence has sparked controversy by wishing everyone...
BREAKING: After deadly Baltimore shipping accident, Transportation Head Buttigieg vows to go on a boating vacation next
BALTIMORE—Following the disastrous shipwreck and bridge collapse in Baltimore, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has raised eyebrows by announcing his plans...
BREAKING: Republican Lisa Murkowski threatens to keep voting like a Democrat if Trump is nominee
ANCHORAGE—In a surprising twist of political theater, Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has issued a bold ultimatum to the Republican Party:...
BREAKING: CIA claims responsibility for ISIS claiming responsibility for Moscow terror attack
WASHINGTON, DC—The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has claimed responsibility for the Islamic State (ISIS) claiming responsibility for the recent Moscow...
AOC: If we just make everything the Bidens did legal, then they didn’t do anything wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—The ever-inspiring Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has proposed a groundbreaking solution to put an end to all those niggling concerns...
