BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Kamala Harris enrolls all victims of Hurricane Helene in the Jelly of the Month Club
In a move that has left hurricane victims across North Carolina both confused and sticky-handed, Vice President Kamala Harris announced...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Harris reassures North Carolina hurricane victims that the US will be donating another $200 billion to Ukraine in their name
AUGUSTA, GA—In a deeply emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the people of North Carolina who are...
BREAKING: Newsom signs bill requiring photo ID to criticize another bill that allows people to vote without photo ID
SACRAMENTO, CA—In a groundbreaking move designed to "protect the integrity of free speech," California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a...
BREAKING: Tim Walz confirms he will be using Tampax Pearl Super Plus tampons for tonight’s debate against JD Vance
In a bold move that is raising both eyebrows and awareness, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has announced that he will...
Victims of Hurricane Helene identifying as illegal immigrants so they can get some federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration
ASHVILLE, NC—Victims of Hurricane Helene in North Carolina have discovered a clever life hack: identifying as illegal immigrants in order...
BREAKING: Joe Biden endorses Donald Trump in 2024 presidential race in stunning October Surprise
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking twist that has left political pundits scrambling, President Joe Biden has officially endorsed his longtime rival,...
BREAKING: After seeing devastating floods caused by Hurricane Helene in North Carolina, Biden agrees to send $15 billion more to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—After learning about devastating floods caused by Hurricane Helene, Biden agrees to send $15 billion more to Ukraine and...
BREAKING: Fans shocked that celebrities who rap about drugs, rape, and murder are actually horrible people in real life too
NEW YORK—In an absolutely unforeseen twist that has blindsided his fanbase, music mogul and notorious “Freak Off” party host P...
BREAKING: New fake government economic data in line with completely fabricated economic forecast
In a stunning but entirely predictable announcement, the Federal Reserve proudly reported that the latest batch of completely made-up economic...
BREAKING: Feds indict NYC Mayor Eric Adams for ‘Unauthorized Complaining About Federal Immigration Policy’
NEW YORK—In a shocking display of federal overreach that surprised absolutely no one, the Biden/Harris administration's DOJ has officially indicted...
