Bernie Sanders spotted sprinting back and forth between his 3 mansions so the squatters he advocates for don’t move in

bernie-squatters

VERMONT—Senator Bernie Sanders was spotted engaging in a rigorous exercise routine, sprinting back and forth between his three luxurious mansions. This peculiar behavior has left many baffled, but sources close to the senator have revealed the reason behind his sudden burst of athleticism.

Sanders, known for his advocacy for the migrant communities, has been working tirelessly to ensure that no squatters take up residence in his lavish properties. Sources say that he has been strategically dividing his time between his three mansions, making sure to visit each one frequently enough to deter any potential squatters.

“It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it,” Sanders was overheard saying as he dashed between his Vermont estate and his Capitol Hill townhouse. “I’m just doing my part to keep the riff-raff out of these beautiful homes.”

While some may find Sanders’ dedication to squatter prevention endearing, others have criticized his methods, calling them hypocritical. After all, the senator has long been a proponent of affordable housing and income equality.

“It’s ironic that a man who claims to fight for the poor is so hell-bent on keeping them out of his own homes,” remarked one political commentator. “I guess even the most well-intentioned politicians can have their blind spots.”

Despite the backlash, Sanders remains committed to his unusual exercise regimen, determined to keep his mansions squatter-free. In a recent statement, he said, “I will continue to sprint between my properties to ensure that they are not occupied by anyone other than myself and my family. After all, a man’s home is his castle, and I intend to protect mine at all costs.”

In the meantime, neighbors have reported seeing Sanders running back and forth between his three mansions, often in his signature disheveled attire. 

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