WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool’s Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters.
“April Fool’s Day makes Jim Crow look like Sam Eagle,” Biden said. “This soft bigotry of ‘smart supremacists’ has got to go!”
The holiday has been know for pranks played on “fools” which tend to be Democrats.
A recent study by the Pew Pew Institute showed that nearly 98% of the people fooled on April Fool’s Day were Democrats.
“That explains a lot really, from why they fall for ridiculous medical dictates from hypocrites like Anthony Fauci to why they keep voting for a party that makes their lives worse,” political analyst Alexis de Tocqueville said.
Biden ensured that there will be no jokes on April 1 or after and that all humorous media outlets will be outlawed.
Others disagreed. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) wants to make April Fool’s Day a national holiday to honor all the useful idiots in her movement.