Biden receives ashes from Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday

WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden received ashes from the Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday. The tradition started several years ago as a way to appear Catholic but also support the satanic and racist baby-killing corporation Planned Parenthood.

“I wear these ashes as a reminder that we come from dust and I’m going to ensure that you return millions of little babies to dust while we’re on this Earth,” Biden said in a Rose Garden announcement.

Biden’s worship of the Devil has put him at odds with some Catholics, but most are pretty okay with it.

“To each his own, that’s what I say,” Washington Catholic Dirk Digler said. “If the president of the United States wants to get his ashes from the incinerated corpses of helpless babies, then that’s okay with me. He’s just as good of a Catholic as anybody.”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has been receiving Planned Parenthood ashes for years.

“I just think it’s a great way to look like you’re spiritual and believe in God but also support the genocide of an entire generation,” Pelosi said.


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.