Biden Reveals He’s ‘Lack Toast and Tolerant’

WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden revealed today that he only drinks lactaid milk because he’s “lack toast and tolerant.”

“I’m lack toast and tolerant which is why I only drink lactaid milk,” he told reporters. “That means that if you have the condition I have, you can’t have lack toast and you have to be tolerant. Very tolerant, actually. If I try even a little bit of lack toast, and I’m even slightly intolerant, I get a severe allergic reaction. For some people, it could even be fatal.”

At publishing time, Biden also revealed that he’s a misogynist and loves giving massages whenever he gets the chance.


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