Biden says he would ‘straight up torture’ the Little Sisters of the Poor if elected


Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden issued a statement Wednesday evening in which he said he was, “disappointed in today’s U.S. Supreme Court decision,” in the case Little Sisters of the Poor v. Pennsylvania.

“I will restore the Obama-Biden policy that existed before the [2014 Supreme Court] Hobby Lobby ruling,” Biden said.

“But beyond making those old hags pay for abortifacients, I would straight up torture them. It’s too easy to make them pay for things their ‘religion’ opposes. They need to suffer,” Biden added.

The Supreme Court’s Little Sisters decision upheld the Trump administration’s rule exempting conscientious objectors from Obamacare’s birth-control and abortifacient mandate, but the decision did not address whether the mandate is itself a violation of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. 

Here’s Biden’s full statement: 

Health care is a right that should not be subject to some silly religion. Yet as a result of today’s decision, countless women are at risk of losing access to affordable, preventive care because sky daddy says so. 

I am disappointed in today’s U.S. Supreme Court decision that will make it easier for the Trump-Pence Administration to continue to strip health care from women.

I plan on simply stripping women and giving them all the health care they need.

No, these old whores who parade around in their little nun habits thinking they’re helping poor people need to be taught a lesson. You don’t mess with Uncle Joe. If I’m elected, I’m going to straight up torture them until they give in.

And that’s no malarkey Jack!


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.