XCHITH-TI, Amazon—Ideas have been pouring in from all over the world on how the federal government can somehow overcome the hesitancy of people in getting an experimental vaccine for the horrifying disease you have to be tested for to know you have.

The National Institutes of Health have narrowed down the possibilities to COVID concentration camps and blow dart involuntary blow dart vaccination as proposed by FDA Director Taylor Lee.

The Biden administration has wasted no time in implementing the program and sent Dr. Anthony Fauci to the Amazon rain forest to perfect his vaccine blow dart technique.

“I’d say it’s coming along,” Fauci said about his skills. “I’d say there will be a good chance of a probability that I will be ready to blow dart 90 percent of the unvaccinated population by the end of the year.”

Fauci says this is the best method to get everyone vaccinated.

“Really what we’re seeing is that everyone wants the vaccine, but they just don’t have the time to go to the provider to get it. This way, we can just sneak up on people and shoot them and you have to worry about convincing people with boring science. You can just literally force them to take it,” Fauci said.

Initial recipients of the vaccine blow dart are feeling great.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts