Biden signs executive order mandating Gorilla Glue face masks for all Americans

WASHINGTON, DC—Dominion-elected-President Joe Biden has already signed several executive orders as the USA transitions into a communist state. His latest one however might not have been done by his earpiece handlers.

Biden has signed an executive order requiring all US citizens wear masks attached to the face with Gorilla Glue. Biden issued the executive order after being surgically removed from the Gorilla Glue hairspray girl and speaking with the Communist Dictator, President Xi Jinping , fondly called President XI Jinping by the US media.

It is not clear if Jinping gave the sticky order or if a confused Biden misunderstood something said by the CCP leader in one of their bonding moments.

Several government officials and leaders in culture are again willing to comply with yet another China Virus Mandate. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is requiring all nursing home patients to be “Gorilla Glue Masked” by the Ides of March. Under the state’s 2021 Medicaid plan, Nursing Home residents are entitled to keep $50 of their monthly income and still have the procedure liberally covered upon the sale of their home and other personal assets.

Disney Plus will require all characters on the series Mandalorian to have the glued masks, especially Baby Yoda (aka Grogu).

Illegal aliens, government officials, crony capitalists, relatives of government officials such as Hunter Biden, woke celebrities like Bruce Springstein, and other cultural elitists are exempt from the Gorilla Glue mask mandate.


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