WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden unveiled a new Pride flag that will be flown at all US embassies around the country and at the White House.

“In America, we stand for Pride,” Biden said in a brief announcement during the unveiling. “That’s why they said in the Declaration of Independence, we have unalienable rights to life, liberty, and parades where we flaunt our sexually transmitted diseases. This is what we stand for. You’re either for it or against us, and if you’re against it, well, you better watch out.”

The new Pride flag has all the colors of the the LGBTQ+ community in an original pattern.

“I really like the flag. It’s really pretty. It almost looks 19-years-old if you know what I mean,” Biden said.

Biden recently launched the US Gay Force to enforce the administration’s pronoun policy.

“I like to call it the ‘gaystapo’,” Biden said. “It’s got a nice ring to it don’t you think?”

_{Originally published June 9, 2021}

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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