Biden won’t come out from under bed; White House to try ice cream cone

Washington DC—President Biden, apparently shaken by the Russian invasion and the threat of a Chinese invasion is refusing to come out from under his bed.

Reminded that the Ukraine is far away and Putin can’t hurt him, the President still held firm and said he will wait until the Russian boogeyman goes away.

The President’s top National Security advisor, Jake Sullivan was rushed into the room in hopes of convincing the commander in chief to come out, however he grabbed a box of donuts and joined the President under the bed. Mr. Sullivan is only 45 years old and says he can relate as he has been hiding under his bed his whole life.

The First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden was contacted and replied that she was busy with their White House cat, Willow and that Joe has pulled this stunt a few times so… not to worry.


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