Bill Gates to constantly stroke a white cat to solidify his role as global supervillain

REDMOND, WA—Renowned tech and biotech mogul Bill Gates has decided he will carry around a white cat and stroke it constantly to solidify his role as global evil supervillain. Gates said that he was tired of people not understanding how evil he truly was.

“I want to kill off a couple billion people and I’ve used my wealth and government funds from around the world to achieve this but still people don’t understand how creepy and evil I am, so I’ve decided to make it abundantly clear by stroking a fluffy white cat all the time like that Bond supervillain Spectre,” Gates said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times.

Gates recently left his position on the Microsoft board to focus his entire efforts on depopulation through “new vaccines”.

Besides his depopulation agenda, Gates has been working on a project to block out the sun through geoengineering and make everyone a cyborg through robotic vaccination implants.

“But nothing has quite said ‘Hey, I’m the world’s top supervillain!’ so I have to bring a fluffy white cat around to let people know,” Gates said. “It was really the only thing missing.”

From now on all Bond film supervillains will be based on Gates.


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