HOLLYWOOD—In a jaw-dropping moment that caught absolutely no one off guard, 19-year-old Skyler Montague—offspring of former River Hollow teen idol Trent Montague and his wife Lila, a woman best known for being Trent Montague’s plus-one—has boldly declared to the world that they identify as an “attention whore.” The revelation came via a 17-minute TikTok video featuring a choreographed twerk routine and a weepy soliloquy, sending ripples through the handful of fans who still recall Trent Montague’s glory days.

“I’ve been hiding my true self for too long,” Skyler proclaimed, pausing mid-speech to tweak their ring light for optimal glow. “I’ve pretended I’m just an average teen with a quiet life, but deep down, I live for the validation of strangers—likes, shares, and that sweet, sweet moment when a paparazzo mistakes me for someone relevant. I’m an attention whore, and I’m finally free.”

The announcement follows a series of increasingly shameless grabs for the spotlight, including a gluten-free candle line pitched to “people who vibe with my dad’s old shampoo commercials,” a flopsweat-inducing podcast called Montague Offspring Unplugged (But Make It Profound), and a viral X post where Skyler posed in a crop top with a borrowed ferret, captioned, “Meet my emotional support weasel—haters stay mad.” Experts say this was a long time coming.

“Skyler’s been showing textbook attention-whore tendencies since they could swipe a screen,” said Dr. Penelope Quartz, a pop culture analyst with a mail-order degree from Coastal Breeze University. “The filtered selfies, the faux-deep posts during every trending crisis, and that time they vlogged their root canal while ranting about microplastics—it’s not a quirk, it’s a calling.”

Trent Montague, now a D-list fixture thanks to occasional stints on shows like Celebrity Pickleball Smackdown, offered a supportive tweet from his barely active X account: “So proud of Skyler for living their truth. Also, peep my new side hustle—custom tie-dye socks. Link in bio.” Lila Montague chimed in, saying, “We always knew Skyler was unique. Who else could stretch a trip to the farmer’s market into a 15-part Instagram exposé?”

Public reaction has been predictably divided. While some hailed Skyler’s “brave vulnerability,” others rolled their eyes. “Oh, look, another nepo kid hogging the limelight,” snarked X user @RiverHollowNostalgia. “Why don’t they try working a 9-to-5 like us normies? I hear the mall food court’s hiring.” Still, a loyal cadre of Montague diehards rallied, spamming X with #AttentionWhorePride and #SkylerShines.

In a plot twist no one asked for, Skyler’s bombshell has already scored them a reality TV gig with FlashTV, tentatively titled Skyler: Chasing the Glow. The series will chronicle their quest to stay relevant, featuring cameos from other faded celebrity progeny and a guaranteed episode where they gatecrash a gala for a film they’ve never seen.

“I’m not just doing this for me,” Skyler insisted in a follow-up video, shot while staring soulfully out a window as artificial rain—courtesy of a sprinkler—drizzled down, despite the clear California sunshine. “I’m doing it for every kid who’s ever yearned to be famous for existing. We’re here. We’re loud. And we’ll keep refreshing our metrics until you care.”

As of press time, Skyler’s follower count had spiked by 287, and they were rumored to be designing an “Attention Whore” branded fanny pack line. The world waits—or shrugs—to see what this intrepid fame-chaser does next.

About Author