KIEV—In a stunning turn of events, CNN has called 666 of Ukraine’s 783 presidential primary delegates for former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley, who was also recently unanimously nominated Queen of the Swamp.

The declaration has left political analysts and pundits scratching their heads, as Haley is not a candidate in Ukraine’s election and has not expressed any intentions to run. 

CNN’s Chief Political Analyst, Jake Tapper, explained the network’s decision by stating that “our team of expert statisticians has crunched the numbers, and it’s clear that Nikki Haley would be the frontrunner if she were to enter the race.”

When pressed on the fact that Haley is not a candidate, Tapper simply replied, “Well, she could be. It’s not like we’re calling the election for her or anything, we’re just saying that she’d be the favorite if she were to run.” 

Ukrainian officials have expressed confusion and concern over CNN’s announcement, with one spokesperson stating that “we have no idea what they’re talking about. Nikki Haley is not a candidate in our election.” However, CNN’s declaration has not deterred Haley’s supporters, who have taken to social media to express their excitement and offer their endorsements. 

In response to the controversy, Haley herself released a statement, saying, “While I appreciate the support, I am not a candidate in Ukraine’s election and have no plans to enter the race. I’m focused on my work here in the United States.” 

As political commentators and Ukrainian officials alike try to make sense of CNN’s announcement, one thing is certain: the 2024 presidential race just got a whole lot more interesting.

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