BREAKING: Derek Chauvin Comes Out as Postpartum Woman and Hormones Made Him Do It; All Charges Vacated
MINNEAPOLIS — Derek Chauvin announced Thursday that he is a postpartum woman and that he mystically gave birth to George Floyd. The hormones, he said, explain everything that followed. A court filing later the same day vacated his convictions.
“I delivered him,” Chauvin said in a statement. “Not in the old way. In the way that counts now. After that, I was postpartum. The hormones made me do it.”
Counsel described the birth as “non-physical, spiritually complete, and legally sufficient.” No hospital record was attached. A footnote said hospitals are “a colonial framework.”
The order accepting the claim ran two paragraphs. It recognized Chauvin as a woman, recognized Floyd as the child in question, and treated the 2020 case as a perinatal episode rather than a crime. The convictions were vacated “without prejudice to the defendant’s recovery.”
Prosecutors did not contest the maternity. One official said the office was “not in the business of denying someone’s birth story.” Asked whether Floyd had also been a 46-year-old man at the time, the official said age was “assigned.”
Chauvin has raised over $1 million on a GoFundMe fundraiser since coming out.
Legal scholars observed that postpartum defenses have historically involved women who had recently delivered infants. They also observed that this filing involved a male former officer and a grown man who was not his baby.
“Those objections rely on a binary model of childbirth,” said a professor of gender jurisprudence. “Once you allow mystical delivery, the rest is just paperwork.”
Outside the courthouse, supporters said the ruling affirmed that anyone can be a mother if the mothering is true. A sign read, “She Brought Him Into This World.” Another read, “Believe Women, Including This One.”
A representative for Floyd’s family said they had never heard of the birth and did not regard Chauvin as a parent. The court filing addressed that point in a single clause: “Biological kinship is no longer dispositive.”
Chauvin’s lawyers requested a birth certificate, a name change, and the expungement of all records that refer to their client as a man or as a defendant. They also asked that Floyd be listed as “infant, mystically conceived.” The vital records office said it would need a form that does not exist.
No infant was presented. Counsel said the infant had already grown up, which they called “a known complication of mystical pregnancy.”
Chauvin is to be released after a wellness check. The check, the order said, may be satisfied by a letter from a provider who accepts the birth as described.
A spokesman for the attorney general, asked whether a convicted officer could erase a case by announcing that he had spiritually delivered the victim, said the question “misgendered the holding.”
The holding, as written, is that she did.
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