BREAKING: Famous cats launch ‘Democats for Trump’ following reports of Kamala’s migrants eating pets
Beloved internet icons Grumpy Cat, Dinner Cat, and Hello Kitty have joined forces to launch a new political action group, Democats for Trump, citing their growing concern over recent reports that illegal immigrants, allegedly tied to Vice President Kamala Harris’s policies, are eating their fellow felines.
“We’ve had enough,” said Grumpy Cat in her trademark scowl, as she faced the press at a hastily arranged catnip-fueled press conference. “First, I’m forced to endure endless memes. Now I’m supposed to sit back while Kamala’s policies turn cats into menu items for her so-called ‘neighbors’? Nope. Not on my watch.”
Hello Kitty, usually known for her wide-eyed optimism, appeared visibly shaken, sporting an “America First” bow in solidarity. “Kamala once told me she was a friend to all animals, but when I found out that her open-border policies are literally endangering my fan base, I had to take action. Cats are not just pets, they’re family. And family doesn’t let family end up as someone’s late-night street taco.”
The Democats for Trump coalition is growing by the minute, as neighborhood cats across the country fear for their whiskered lives. Simba from The Lion King has reportedly offered to be the group’s official spokesperson, though concerns about his recent vegan diet have caused some division within the ranks. Garfield, well-known for his love of lasagna, has so far remained neutral, though sources say he may pounce in soon, pending a promise of no cat food tax under Trump’s next term.
President Trump, never one to pass up a meme-worthy opportunity, immediately tweeted his support for the Democats. “Grumpy Cat and Hello Kitty—TRUE PATRIOTS. Kamala is LOSING HER GRIP. Sad! No one’s pets are safe in Democrat-run cities. #CatsForTrump #KittiesAgainstKamala.”
Kamala Harris has been quick to dismiss the rumors, labeling them as “racist, feline-phobic disinformation.” However, when pressed for comment, her campaign seemed unusually flustered when asked if the vice president has a particular fondness for mystery meat enchiladas.
Meanwhile, animal shelters across the country have seen a spike in adoption applications from people concerned for the safety of their cats under the current administration. “I’d rather adopt a hundred strays than let one of them fall into the hands of Kamala’s so-called ‘immigrants,’” said Karen Whiskerson, head of Feline Freedom Fighters, a new advocacy group partnering with the Democats. “These cats deserve better—Kamala’s dinner plates are not a sanctuary.”
As the nation braces for what could be the furriest political campaign yet, one thing is clear: the cats have spoken, and they’re not happy with Harris’s immigration policies—or the possibility of becoming the next item on the menu.
With growing support from the feline community, the Democats for Trump may just be the cat-astrophic surprise of the 2024 election. As Grumpy Cat summed it up in her final remark, “Kamala may have the humans, but we’ve got nine lives and a Twitter army.”
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