As tensions continue to rise following a missile attack by Iran toward a US military base in Iraq, France, which is 15,000 miles away and not involved in the conflict at all has surrendered to both countries.

“We have fought enough and see no chance of victory,” French President Emmanuel Macron said in a tearful press conference. “We will be raising the white flag instead of the French flag and humbly accept our victors.”

Neither Iran or the United States have as much as looked at France during this conflict, but French authorities thought it prudent to give up at this point.

“It was a hard-fought battle, but we cannot continue,” Macron continued. “It is a disgrace, but it is our disgrace. Vive la France! Vive la republique! Vive la Macron!”

The country has already sent millions of Euros to Iran and the US and is in the process of converting half of the country’s Gothic Cathedrals into mosques.

“We know a bit about surrendering during world wars. This is what we do!” Macron added.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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