WILMINGTON, DE—After months of forcing her senior-citizen husband Joe Biden into the public spotlight despite his declining cognitive inabilities, Jill Biden has been arrested for elderly abuse.
An interview with Joe Biden revealed Jill forcing her husband to answer questions with a cattle prod. Immediately following the interview, Delaware’s Adult Protective Services arrested the former Second Lady. State authorities have accused her of mistreatment, manipulation, and exploitation of a vulnerable adult.
“Investigators have been monitoring Mrs. Biden for months,” said Sheriff Scott Philips. “The victim’s behavior at the debate was enough to obtain a warrant for the suspect’s arrest.”
Jill Biden was released on a $1,000,000 bail, paid for by stepson and multi-millionaire Ukrainian oil businessman Hunter Biden.
Awaiting trial in the New Castle county jail, Jill told reporters, “Joe was never supposed to win the primary,” she said. “But I just really want to redecorate the White House curtains.”
The victim returned to his home and has not yet released a statement. He is allegedly lost in the basement.