BREAKING: Local man nominated for Nobel Prize after constantly complaining about the heat
Local resident Sam Bilkie has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after consistent complaining about the heat this summer.
Bilkie, who runs a software firm out of an inadequately air conditioned office in Springfield, has done nothing notable in its life except for substantial complaining about the temperature.
“Man, is it hot out here or is it just me?” Bilkie has been asking rhetorically all summer long. “This has to be the hottest summer ever!”
Nobel Committee members mistook Bilkie’s complaining about the heat for climate change activism and now he’s the front runner in the vote for one of the world’s most prestigious honors.
“Man, it’s hot out here,” Bilkie complained. “I’m really looking forward some cooler weather. You don’t want to see me in 100° heat very long! I start to get the runs.”
Historical records indicate that temperatures have been about average in Bilkie’s area this year.
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