WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Barack Obama has officially announced that he is cutting off President Joe Biden’s adrenochrome supply, leaving the White House in a state of sheer panic and disbelief.

The decision, which came as a surprise to many, has been attributed to growing concerns over Biden’s dependency on the substance and its potential impact on his decision-making abilities. Adrenochrome, a highly addictive and powerful hallucinogenic drug, has long been rumored to be the secret behind the success and longevity of many political figures, including Obama himself.

In a candid interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Obama expressed his concerns about Biden’s addiction, stating, “It’s time we put a stop to this. Joe has become a danger to himself and to the nation. We can’t afford to have a president who’s more concerned with chasing the dragon than running the country.”

The announcement has sparked a wave of chaos within the White House, with many officials scrambling to find alternative sources of adrenochrome for the president. Reports of frantic calls to Colombian drug cartels and secret meetings with Russian oligarchs have circulated throughout the media, fueling speculation that the administration is desperate to keep Biden’s addiction a secret.

In response to the crisis, a group of concerned citizens has formed a grassroots organization called “Operation Adrenochrome Freedom,” dedicated to raising awareness about the dangers of the drug and advocating for its complete ban. The group’s leader, Jane Doe, issued a statement saying, “This is a wake-up call for America. We cannot continue to turn a blind eye to the destructive effects of adrenochrome on our leaders and our nation.”

While it remains unclear how the White House will handle the situation, one thing is certain: the adrenochrome empire is crumbling, and the world will never be the same again.

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