WASHINGTON, DC—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has threatened to take away President Donald Trump’s Jelly of the Month Subscription if he doesn’t resign immediately following an Antifa-led siege of the US Capitol building yesterday.
“We must do everything in our power to stop that horrible man in any way we can,” Pelosi said in a press conference announcing the decision. “That means revoking his Jelly of the Month Subscription today!”
Pelosi worked tirelessly for six months to provide working Americans with COVID relief, which resulted in the generous gift that keeps on giving.
“It’s the gift that keeps on giving, unless you’re Donald Trump,” Pelosi said.
Analysts say this could really teach Trump a lesson for telling people to be peaceful.
“There are grape jellies, pineapple jellies, and even a pepper jelly, which I’m especially excited about,” Pelosi said.