WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court has reversed its earlier decision to overturn Roe versus Wade after finding 150,000 votes to preserve Roe overnight.

The votes were all absentee ballots cast by liberal Supreme Court justices.

“A batch of about 150,000 absentee votes is what came in from the Supreme Court. That’s just the final tally, and when it arrived,” said Hugh Janus, public information manager at the Court. 

Conspiracy theorists have immediately claimed that the 150,000 Supreme Court votes are somehow not legitimate.

“People will try to come up with various theories to make them feel better, but the truth of the matter is that Roe is going to be preserved,” Janus said.

Several ravenous abortion fanatics outside the Supreme Court were ecstatic with the news. “We must abort the abortion abortion!”

Court officials in the state told Genesius Times that there is “no truth to the claim” that any votes were mysteriously “found” for Roe in the 150,000.

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Jeremy Spoken

None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.

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