The Supreme Court of the United States ruled today that if states in the Union have differences that they should go to war instead of decide in the court of law.

“Sometimes the rule of law isn’t enough to decide differences and this is one of those times. War is a much better way to go forward,” Chief Justice John Roberts said.

People on both sides of the political spectrum agreed.

“What better way to settle differences between several states than to obliterate each other through all out war,” Jimmy Finklebottom of Des Moines, Iowa said.

“I was really hoping that the Supreme Court wouldn’t take this case. Now we can settle this like civilized people and blow each other up!” Parker Terry of Portland, Oregon said.

The 6-5 vote for this case was facilitated by new Dominion Court Voting Machines.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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