“Trump is literally Hitler and he’s going to kill everyone,” self-professed liberal Sonia Birkenstock wrote in her suicide note. “And I just about lost it when he said that he wants to save American lives. Like, as if we are more important than people in other countries…SMH. So, I’m killing myself because I’m not letting that man count me as a success story!”
The mass suicide has been directly related to the Trump press conference where Trump declared that his number one priority is to save American lives.
“I’m going to do everything I can to save American lives,” Trump said.
The CDC has recently released data that show that Trump derangement syndrome has killed more people than the deadly COVID-19 pandemic.
“Since being a productive member of society would ultimately benefit Orange Man, I knew I wasn’t going to do that. Now that he says that he wants to save American lives, I know I must kill myself to resist!” another suicide note read.