WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for getting more popular after being convicted, as the Department of Justice seeks to crack down on the use of criminal convictions as a means of boosting one’s public profile.

“We are committed to ensuring that no one is above the law, and that the criminal justice system is fair and impartial,” said Attorney General Merrick Garland in a recent press conference. “We will not tolerate the use of criminal convictions as a means of boosting one’s popularity, and we will hold those who engage in such behavior accountable for their actions.”

The indictment has sent shockwaves through the political and legal worlds, with many people expressing their outrage and disbelief at the idea that someone could be indicted for getting more popular after being convicted.

“This is ridiculous,” said one legal expert, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “How can someone be indicted for getting more popular after being convicted? It’s like indicting someone for getting more handsome after being punched in the face.”

But not everyone agrees, and many people are calling the indictment a long-overdue step in the fight against corruption and abuse of power, arguing that Trump’s popularity after his conviction is a threat to the very fabric of American democracy.

“Trump’s conviction was supposed to be a wake-up call for America, a reminder of the importance of the rule of law and the need to hold our leaders accountable for their actions,” said one political analyst, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Instead, it has become a rallying cry for his supporters, a badge of honor that they wear with pride.”

Despite the backlash, the Department of Justice remains defiant, and it has vowed to continue its fight against the use of criminal convictions as a means of boosting one’s public profile, no matter what the cost may be.

“We will not rest until justice is served, and the American people can once again have faith in the criminal justice system,” said Garland in a recent interview. “We will not allow anyone to use the criminal justice system as a means of advancing their own political agenda, and we will hold those who engage in such behavior accountable for their actions.”

In the end, only time will tell whether Trump’s indictment will prove successful, or whether it will go down in history as yet another example of the left’s willingness to throw mud at anyone who dares to express an opinion that differs from their own. But one thing is certain: this bizarre and outlandish indictment is sure to inspire a new generation of conspiracy theorists and political opportunists, and to remind us all that sometimes, the most effective way to take down one’s enemies is to simply make things up as one goes along.

About Author