WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA) and other democrats have announced that they have evidence that President Trump sold influence to the White House to Ukraine and China through his crack-addict son, Hunter.

“This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Trump is the most corrupt president in the history of the United States and that we were totally right about impeaching him,” Schiff said in a press conference announcing the evidence.

Media outlets around the country are rushing to publish this damning information before the Democrats have revealed the evidence to the public.

“Oh, we definitely have the evidence,” Schiff said. “It’s very, very evidency.”

The previously unknown son of Trump’s, Hunter, who is an admitted crack-addict, introduced his father to a top executive at a Ukrainian energy firm less than a year before the elder Trump pressured government officials in Ukraine into firing a prosecutor who was investigating the company, according to the evidence held by Schiff.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) promises to run a complete impeachment proceeding before the election on November 3rd.

“Dear Hunter, thank you for inviting me to DC and giving an opportunity to meet your father and spent [sic] some time together. It’s realty [sic] an honor and pleasure,” the email reads.

An earlier email from May 2017 also shows Pozharskyi, reportedly Burisma’s No. 3 exec, asking Hunter Trump for “advice on how you could use your influence” on the company’s behalf.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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