BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination of him
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination attempt on his life. The...
Politics
Biden scrambles to find new VP after hearing about assassination attempt on Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a whirlwind of confusion and panic, President Joe Biden is reportedly scrambling to find a new...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for killing would be assassin
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time for the actions of his Secret Service detail....
BREAKING CNN: Trump speech interrupted by mostly peaceful assassination attempt
Former President Donald Trump rudely cut his speech at his Butler, Pennsylvania rally short after some people said they heard popping...
BREAKING: Project 2025 will provide every Trump supporter with laser-shooting velociraptors
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts and citizens alike in a state of euphoric disbelief, the...
BREAKING: Biden says his confusing Zelensky for Putin will not hurt his chances of beating Nixon in November
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a recent press conference, President Joe Biden assured the nation that his recent confusion between Ukrainian...
Gretchen Whitmer sports new name (Whitler) and mustache as she forms one-party dictatorship in Michigan
LANSING, MI—In a stunning display of political innovation and fashion-forward thinking, Governor Gretchen Whitmer has announced her transformation into "Whitler,"...
Republicans vow to write even more strongly-worded letters in retirement if Democrats allow illegals to vote in 2024 election
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold and unprecedented move, a group of Republican congressmen have vowed to up the ante in their...
In order to save democracy we must replace the democratically-nominated candidate with someone no one voted for
In the hallowed tradition of American democracy, where the people's voice is sacrosanct, we face an unprecedented challenge that demands...
White House politely asks enemies to not start WWIII between 4pm and 10am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move aimed at accommodating President* Biden's cognitive awareness schedule, the White House has formally requested that all...
