Cuomo: ‘Pizza is a substantive food unless you put pineapple on it’
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a lengthy explanation of possibly the most arbitrary government mandate
Politics
BLM rejects Marxism once they find out Karl Marx was an old white guy
By now every sentient being is well aware that Black Lives Matter has absolutely nothing
Having not found 5 righteous people in Chicago, Trump orders a surge of fire and brimstone
President Donald Trump, having not found even 5 righteous people in the city of Chicago,
Portland moms finally pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest
PORTLAND, OR–Moms from around Portland finally came to pick up their kids from their little
Feminists protest National Hotdog Day in order to defeat the Patriarchy
CHICAGO—A group of 100 feminists marched defiantly outside Vienna Beef headquarters today, in order to
Twitter bans thousands of QAnon users who had already left Twitter cause Twitter sucks
Twitter announced on Tuesday that the social media company had banned thousands of accounts by
BREAKING: California mandates conversion therapy for white people
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a new mandated program of conversion therapy for people stricken
MLB replaces racist white baseballs with orange Trump bobble head balls
Just in time for the start of the upcoming abbreviated Major League Baseball season Commissioner
‘Defund’ movement stalls after losing funding
The “defund” movement has stalled after losing funding. However there is still some grassroots efforts
Tear-gassed protesters discover face masks don’t work
PORTLAND—Thousands of tear-gassed protesters from across the country are discovering that their face masks don’t
