BREAKING: Nikki Haley unanimously nominated Queen of the Swamp
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprise coronation ceremony held in the heart of Washington D.C., Nikki Haley, former U.S. ambassador to the...
Politics
Amid falling poll numbers, Biden tries a new political strategy
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bid to reverse his declining approval ratings and recapture the elusive magic of his predecessor, President Joe...
BREAKING: Donald Trump says he will leave the country if Donald Trump is elected president
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—In a surprising turn of events that has left pundits scratching their heads and citizens divided, former President Donald...
BREAKING: Due to staggering inflation, February now has 29 days
WASHINGTON, DC—As inflation continues to soar to unprecedented heights, the calendar is feeling the squeeze, with February now slated to...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell to step down from Senate leadership role to focus more on staring blankly into space
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has left Capitol Hill both puzzled and oddly relieved, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has...
President signs executive order making Feb 30th ‘Joe Biden Day’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move aimed at reshaping his legacy and silencing his critics, President* Biden has signed an executive...
‘I will no longer be complicit in genocide’ shouts man who accidentally contributes to the genocide of his own people
In a stunning display of misguided activism, Aaron Bushnell, a self-proclaimed pro-Palestine Air Force member, inadvertently became a casualty of...
BREAKING: Trump Indicted For Failure To Return Shopping Cart To Front Of Store
UNITED STATES—The Department of Justice has indicted former President Donald Trump for failure to return his shopping cart to the...
BREAKING: McConnell and Schumer unite under MUGA (Make Ukraine Great Again) banner to combat MAGA
In a bizarre twist of political theater, Senate leaders Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer have joined forces under the banner...
BREAKING: Biden to transfer all student loans to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move, President* Biden promised to make people who never went to college and everyone who has...
